Clandestine.

What were we a while ago?

Silly kids with magic wands in one hand,

And the dreams of what now seem the yesteryear,

In the other!

What were You a while ago?

You were a whiff of the smoke

Which touched my lips for the first time-

Promising to remain in the stains,

Never solid enough to contain.

What was I a while ago?

I really don't remember.

***

Now Playing: The Woods | Stars

You know what. I Love You. :-)

P.S: The picture is a quote from Bukowski. 

Infinity.

I wish language never changed, and meanings were not subjective. I wish there were only black or white, and the gray never existed (not even the possibility of it being made from the two colours). And I wish I could be strong enough to let go. 

If only there was a way of not wishing so much. And if only there were enough words to explain the infinite simplicity in all finite complexity. 

***

This picture. Because we all need to live our dream once. And also for the love of floating lanterns

Now Playing: Stay Out Of Trouble | Kings of Convenience

And now I am going to come back to write again only when I am motivated enough, which might not happen for some time. Lets spend some time trying to figure out how Change works. 

Peace. 

The Sicilian!

There was a smile at the end of each sentence he said. He had mischievous eyes, one of those which you cannot escape looking at. They spilled a lot of uninterrupted warmth. The contours on his forehead faded into a sense of isolated magnificence. You know...the one which doesn't tell you everything but tells you enough to be charmed by the other person? Like that. Precisely. When he laughed, his cheeks lifted, exposing his cheek bones. He wasn't very filled in the face you see. Just the right amount of flesh! The complexion was the usual...very rugged, very tanned, almost glistening- like gold! Black hair with a tinge of deep brown. His eyes- deep brown. I remember his hair was light- easy with the winds- always in its direction! When he walked into the room, nobody looked at him. They, of course, had much more important and interesting people by their side. I was alone- with a book in my hand. He walked in and greeted people he knew. He did not know me. He does not know me. He said a pleasant "Hello!" His voice emanated a fine blend of coldness and a pleasant articulation of what his eyes suggested. He knew he charmed another woman. I smiled back. "I am Darius." I continued smiling, and we shook hands. I told him my name.

We did not talk after that. I left the party. He must have left it too. I heard and saw him laugh with a couple of people we both knew. He had the most beautiful laughs I have ever heard on a man! As I was walking down the street, towards home, I could not stop recalling that vibrant and exclusive smile of Darius- the only Sicilian I ever had the chance to meet and make eye contact with.

***

Now Playing: Song For You by Alexi Murdoch
(because I think of him when I listen to this song)

He comes in my dreams sometimes. It is odd. I know nothing but his name and the place he belongs to. I never made effort to know more- for the fear that he might not be as charming as he is in my mind. I love people who smile often. They are more comforting, easy to be with. 
I thought I would write about it since he is one of the most good looking people I have seen. 
Also, listen to Alexi Murdoch, if you have not yet. Him, and Patrick Watson.  

Until next time, listen to great music and love yourself. 

Summer Ink

The following is the only picture I have of my ink. This will remain one of the most celebrated things that I have done so far. And since college finally bid us farewell yesterday I felt like sharing it. So with this, I strike off the first 2 points in my bucket list for 2013. Got a tattoo done. Enjoyed the last three months of college to the fullest. 

Now, studying for final year exams, and trying to earn some money. Home is as good as it gets. I miss the carefree craziness of Delhi though. The room is revamped, my way. Lots of comfortable laughter, sleep, great food, Mommy, Daddy and Kevin. And also, unlimited internet  =D
Though my mother is a little upset about all that music in my room all day-all night. Well, we'll figure that out!
Iron Man 3 is impeccable! Go watch it if you haven't already. 

Now Playing: Back In Black | AC/DC

***

I need to get the matraa fixed. I am really going to miss going to college everyday and meeting the crackwhores! I am going to miss you DU!!! *sniff*

Happy Summer =)

Oh Dear Sicily!

The day I actually begin with my life, I am going to save money, catch the plane, and travel across Sicily. Not with anyone else but me. I want to travel alone to Palermo- walk barefoot on the brick streets, touch the age old doors, breathe that air and fulfill this one burning desire in me! 

I asked my friend what his dream destination was. He replied, "I am too caught up with career shit to think about it!" I felt sad. I felt vulnerable. I thought what if I am caught in that web too?? How could you allow your career/marriage/relationships/etc to overshadow that bucket list you made with the first love of your life? It does not matter if you're with your first love or not...but the bucket list is right there! 

We look for a "decent" job to 

1) buy a good car 

2) live comfortably/luxuriously 

3) buy clothes/shoes/bags/other stuff 

4) get married to someone who too has a "decent" job

5) fornicate in five star hotel rooms during honeymoons

6) make kids and send them off to expensive schools

7) give our kids arrogance for which we are working our ass off everyday

This very day, I promise myself that I am going to add a point right before point 1)

Travel. 

Picture Courtesy: deviantArt

***

Now Playing: Pretty Face | Sóley

If I ever have a daughter, I will name her Sicily! 

Let There Be Chaos, Always!

That touch which is so very You, that has the ability to fill the room with laughter and lovesick marks on the sheets- it makes me want to do things. It makes me want to take a leap into the future, rewrite the possibilities and replace order and perfection with chaos, imperfection, secrets and complete disorder. It makes me want to mix all the colours and melt the crayons thereafter. It makes me want to remove Time and float into an illogical space, with no chronology and no sense of loss.

***

One of those self-confessional days. I have been in love with the same person for the last four years. There are no compulsions, no promises... just the presence. Sometimes physical, sometimes in a figment of imagination. She calls it my inability to come to terms with reality. I call it the reality. I am here. He is here. We're not together but we're here. We're here! Right here! 

La-La-La-La

An otherwise really boring/lazy/dull day, this day turned out to be quite cool. What made my day??

Half an hour ago I was texting with my brother and he told me to YouTube some songs as I have NO space left in my laptop. Yes! I have achieved the unattainable. All the storage devices have been exhausted. The only storage left is in my phone but well let's not go there. iPhone is strange in that sense!
YouTube is the best thing that happened to the Internet. I opened it to watch some cool videos and the home screen had this:

You know I don't usually fall for Indian men (which is not a good thing since it limits my options). BUT!!!! This one video is a major turn on. The song is quite stilly. Who cares?! Ranbir Kapoor gives me hope that there still might be some decent looking Indian men left to ogle at! Also, he does that one step better than the professional dancers at the back. *.*

***

The things I like about living alone in a room are the freedom to one, wear anything you like and two, dance at absolutely any time and to anything. Everyone should live alone at some point in their life! It teaches you to love yourself- something which a lot of us are sadly unable to do. It also teaches you how to chill. 

Also, I have done some of the coolest projects this term. One was Male Habits and the Contemporary Woman and now I am working on analyzing the movie Pulp Fiction as an example of postmodern art. English literature is one hell of a discipline. So glad that I studied it for these three years. 
Reading Charles Bukowski these days. I love what he says: Find what you love and let it kill you!
On my way, Bukowski. 

Lots of love. 
-x-